Written by: Rob Van Winkle, CC2K Staff Writer
In a move that elicited a universal and resounding "What the Fuck?" from men all over the world, a French model recently admitted to having an affair with San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker, known everywhere as "the lucky bastard who gets to bone Eva Longoria."
After the story broke, Parker released this statement: "I love my wife. She is the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier."
Experts doubt this statement however, since it fails to explicitly deny the rumor, and many feel it was made only to stop – albeit momentarily – the hordes of men from coming to his door to kick his ass before wooing his outrageously hot wife.
If the claim proves to be true, sexual psychologists have an explanation for the behavior. "Men are hard-wired to spread their seeds," said Dr. Mark Finkle, of Nathan Littauer Hospital. "A new woman is always seen as more appealing than one we have already bedded. However, if the woman in question is Eva Freaking Longoria," Finkle continued, "Then Tony Parker can go fuck himself."