Written by: Big Ross, CC2K Staff Writer
CC2K's Big Ross tells us about how he once played two women at the same time … and lived to tell the tale.
I'm a staff writer for a site like CC2K. That makes me a pretty big geek. And even if that’s all you had to go on, there’s a stereotype, a mold that you might expect me to fit into. Our own Tony Lazlo once described us CC2kers as, “good-hearted, super-intelligent geeks who love to talk.” I feel like as far as myself is concerned, he was two-thirds right. Good-hearted? I’m no saint, but I’m a decent, caring individual.
But am I super-intelligent? Well, I don’t know about the “super” part, but I enjoy Jeopardy! much more than Wheel of Fortune. Plus, I am technically a scientist; they don’t give Ph.D.’s to just anyone, you know. Love to talk? Well, maybe here (online), but in actual social situations? Not so much. Those who have a cursory knowledge of my alter-ego in the real world have described me alternately as “nice,” “quiet,” and “shy” (not to mention “tall,” and despite stating the obvious, people continue to do it). Don’t get me wrong, I’m at ease and comfortable around close friends, and alcohol takes down my inhibitions as effectively as General Veers on Hoth.
I tell you all this so that you have some idea of my character, so that you hopefully understand that it gives me chills, and yes, a bit of a thrill to make the following confession. I once juggled two women at the same time. Not in the literal sense, but in the – I dated/had a relationship with/was intimate with two women at the same time – sense. It lasted all of about a week. And I did it without any intention whatsoever beforehand. And it was one of the most exciting, stressful, guilt-ridden weeks of my life. Like many such experiences, it happened in that magical time when anything is possible. I’m speaking, of course, of college.
Note: Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Throughout most of my first three years of college I had a girlfriend. Two, actually. Not at the same time, mind you; each relationship was fairly serious and lasted more than a year. But entering my senior year I was single, full of self-confidence, and not at all interested in another prolonged romance. I was intent on having fun. And then I met Jamie. My best friend talked me into going out on a blind, double date with Jamie and a friend of hers. In what seems now like a clichéd plot device in an episode of Friends, my friend paired up with Jamie, I matched up with her friend, and sparks were definitely not flickering between either couple. My friend and I wrote it off as a busted evening, but later I got a call from Jamie; evidently I had caught her interest more than my friend. After clearing it with him (bros before…well, you know), Jamie and I went out on a date.
Now, because this becomes relevant later on, let me tell you that I went to undergrad in my hometown, a small town in western Kansas, and there were three bars/night clubs doing business back then. There was the one that played mostly rap/hip hop (called for some reason “The Home”), the one that played mostly rock and roll (which was entrepreneurially attached to a laundromat and called “Sip ‘N Spin”), and the country western bar, “The Rose.” Jamie liked to dance, so we went to The Home. With a little help from my personal General Veers, I managed to get out on the dance floor and not make a complete fool of myself busting a move to Ludacris’ What’s Your Fantasy?, among other hits of the day. And then we went back to her dorm room. Things happened. I could recount them in sordid detail, but a gentleman does not kiss and tell. Suffice it to say, we both enjoyed the evening, and the series of events of that night repeated themselves. Sometimes it was a different bar. Mostly it was The Home. Sometimes we skipped the bar entirely and just spent the night in her dorm room. Sometimes mine. It was with Jamie that I experienced first-hand, and for the first time, the concept of Friends with Benefits.
Of course, I had heard of the idea before; I was aware in an abstract way that it existed, kind of like I’m aware that the Earth is infinitesimally small with respect to the rest of the universe. But its one thing to know it, and another thing entirely to, as Tom Hanks portrays in Apollo 13, be so far away from the Earth that you can eclipse it with your thumb. That’s first-hand experience, and there’s nothing quite like it. See, after several weeks it had occurred to me that we hadn’t had The Talk, and my relationship clock was telling me we were getting close, if not past due for it already. I didn’t want to lead her on, I mean I liked her, and I was having a good time, but I wasn’t interested in anything serious. But here’s the kicker, neither was she. Jamie had also recently gotten out of a lengthy relationship, and she didn’t desire entering into a new one anytime soon. I asked what we should do, and she said those three words in sort of an off-hand way. Like you might ask your significant other, “What do you want to do tonight, hon?” And they reply, “Oh, I don’t know, we could see a movie.” Like that. Only the question was, “So what, do we stop seeing each other?” And Jamie replied, “Well, we could be friends with benefits, I guess.”
I eclipsed the Earth with my thumb.