Written by: Keisha Woods, Special to CC2K
Last week I experienced 94 minutes of cinema hell. Nothing, not even I Know Who Killed Me, Awake, or Striptease could prepare me for this movie. Appropriately titled, the movie is Nothing but Trouble. Now I’ve taken into account the fact that this is an early 90s release, yet it still doesn’t take away from its major suck factor. Thinking that a cast of characters including comedic celebs Chevy Chase, John Candy, and Dan Aykroyd would produce laughs, the joke was definitely on me. Onto the plot shall we?
Nothing but Trouble stars Chevy Chase as NY financial publisher Chris Thorne. In his attempt to impress his neighbor Diane (played by Demi Moore) he offers to drive her to Atlantic City hoping to accomplish a little business and pleasure. Before hitting the road, Thorne’s wealthy Brazilian neighbors decide to tag along for the ride promising fun times, good music and a picnic basket loaded with fine edibles. If only the rest of the movie were this great.
In a road-trip detour gone extremely wrong, the gang ends up in a Podunk locale known as Valkenvania, where the population is about seven and several inhabitants resemble characters from the cartoon The Oblongs. Forced to rectify a traffic violation in the middle of the night, everyone must go before Reeve Valkenheiser, played by a crypt keeper-looking Aykroyd. As a result, everyone has beegetsn sentenced to an untimely demise, provided they are able to escape the faux MacGyver traps that are set up along the way.
Nothing but Trouble went in so many directions that I found it hard to pay attention. Seriously. The random cameo appearance by the Oakland rap group Digital Underground (featuring a very young Tupac Shakur), performing the song “All around the World,” with the assistance of Reeve Valkenheiser on the keys. John Candy’s double role as a female should have been re-casted, since he/she had no speaking parts. My guess is that he couldn’t talk like a woman and that in itself deserves a side eye to the writer (Aykroyd).
Quite possibly the worse news ever were signs of a sequel towards the very end. My only advice is to be afraid…be very, very afraid.
So how does one define a bad movie? Well I’m not too sure but start with Nothing but Trouble and you are on your way!