The Nexus of Pop-Culture Fandom

Big Ross’ Red Ring of Death Ordeal: Day 24

Written by: Big Ross, CC2K Staff Writer

ImageTwenty-four days.  Hard to believe.  It’s been twenty-four days and I’m no closer to getting my Xbox 360 repaired than I was on Day 1.  Well, maybe a little bit closer.  While I’ve received no email from Microsoft informing me the shipping box for me to return my console has been sent, and found no such container in my mailbox, last week I did receive an email from Xbox Customer Care informing me they have received my request for service, but have not received my console and want to verify that I wish to continue with the service.  Here’s the email I wanted to send them in reply:



Dear Xbox Customer Care,

Thank you for the email.  I was beginning to think that you had not received my request for service.  But now I know that have, in fact, received my request and even have it on a timer.  Just knowing that you’re keeping track of the days since I filed my service request makes me feel special.  In no way does the obvious automated nature of the email you sent me make me feel like “just another number”.  And I’m sure that your assurance that my order “will be automatically canceled” and a “new service request will be required” if I do not promptly send my Xbox console to your repair center within 30 days of filing my service request is just your way of telling me that you care about my needs, and want to instill in me the same sense of haste that you have in expediting the repair process.  Surely you wouldn’t have such a limited window of time included to hamper the repair process to, say, save yourselves money.  Surely not!

There is one small, tiny problem.  You haven’t received my console because I haven’t sent it yet, because the shipping box you promised you would send me to facilitate the process HASN’T FUCKING ARRIVED YET.  I JUST WANT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AGAIN, YOU HEARTLESS, CAPITALIST BASTARDS!


Big Ross

PS – Yes, that was sarcasm you were reading in that first paragraph, you d-bags.

Of course, I couldn’t send that email because the address on the email they sent me was not “monitored”.  Plus I’m guessing they would be less than inclined to help after receiving it.  So I called Xbox Customer Support (as directed by the email in the event that I had not received the shipping materials), where I was greeted by “Max”; however, I’d like to point out that “Max” is not a person.  “Max” is the automated system for answering all calls to Xbox Customer Care.  After going in circles with Max for several minutes, I exclaimed “customer service!” and was delighted to hear “Max” say that he would transfer me to the next available customer service representative.  Finally, human contact!

Soon I was greeted by Ashish (sp?), who by his accent I could tell was from the Indian sub-continental region.  Now, I’m not going to make any jokes or go on any kind of rant about foreigners working at customer service call centers.  To be honest such humor disgusts me a little.  I’m all about the global market and I’m sure Ashish is a nice guy and just trying to make a living like the rest of us.  And frankly, he was a welcome change to “Max”.

Ashish was nice enough to re-file my service request, giving me a fresh 30 days on the clock in which to ship my console for repairs.  He also assured me I would be receiving the shipping materials in 3-5 business days.  While I have yet to actually receive those materials, I’ve still got until Friday before that promise of 3-5 business days becomes null & void.  If Friday comes and goes and I still have no shipping materials, I fear I will be forced to call Xbox Customer Support again and deal with “Max”.

Damn it!

The only silver lining I’m able to see at this point is that I have just gotten a loaner console from a buddy of mine who has entirely too much money on his hands and decided to go out and buy the Xbox 360 Elite edition, which aside from coming in black instead of white and boasting a hard drive that is 6 times larger than a normal 360 is no different in any other way that matters.  Well, I've read that supposedly the design flaw responsible for the RRoD hardware failure has also been corrected, but it remains to be seen if that is indeed the case.  Anyway, this means that aside from being a pain in my hindquarters, there’s really no major problem with this process taking an unacceptably long time.

If you were actually looking forward to further discussion on the nature of the Red Ring of Death Plague, that will have to wait until future updates, which will come, I promise.  If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some gaming to catch up on.