Celebrity Endorsement Seals Presidential Election One Year Early

Written by: Rob Van Winkle, CC2K Staff Writer

Many strange things have decided the fate of the office of the United States President: hanging chads, great depressions, and illegal push polls that make superior candidates appear tainted in the eyes of the uneducated. However, for the first time in the history of our great country, an election has been decided entirely on a celebrity endorsement…ONE YEAR before it takes place!

Hard as it may be to believe that one endorsement can sway the opinions of an entire electorate, the fact remains that it is so. The secret, reports President-Elect Mike Huckabee, was choosing a celebrity of unimpeachable values, obsequious fame, and an utterly unironic fanbase. 

Enjoy the Presidency-Winning spot here: