Guitar Hero Love Fest
Written by: The CinCitizens
Guitar Hero is the highly successful, award winning music video game originally available for the Playstation 2, with sequels available for the Xbox 360, PS3, and PC. In this piece Big Ross and Rob van Winkle tag team not only to show some love for the game, but also discuss its surprising place in love and relationships.
First up, Big Ross:
To paraphrase Tyler Durden:
“We've been raised to believe that one day we'd all be sports heroes, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we are very, very pissed off.”
Well, okay, maybe not THAT pissed off. Not pissed off enough to make our own explosives and demo a bunch of buildings like in Fight Club. Maybe we’re not even pissed off so much as just disappointed and a little resentful that we’re stuck in a job that if we’re lucky, we don’t completely hate. So how do we get out of the rut of our nine-to-five? For a lot of people, video games offer the same thing that books and movies have had a monopoly over for years: escape.
For a few hours you can get away from the reality of your current situation to be somewhere and someone else. For some that desire is to be an elite athlete the likes of Lebron James or Tom Brady. Others may want to walk in the shoes of the action stars such as Stallone or Schwarzenegger, and first-person shooters offer them the excitement of explosions and playing the hero. But some people just want to be rock stars. For years these poor souls were denied an outlet, until Guitar Hero came along.
Or maybe I’m full of shit and video games are just about having fun and unwinding a bit, which in that case it’s still a good thing Guitar Hero came along, because unfulfilled dreams of rock stardom aside, this game is a blast.
Guitar Hero is the new Dance Dance Revolution. Instead of DDR’s stupid mat and boy band dance moves set to techno music, you get to shred on lead guitar to some of the greatest songs of rock ‘n roll. However, as fun as Guitar Hero is to play, I have to give you a note of caution in the form of a personal anecdote.
I bought GH 2 for the Xbox 360 a few months ago and quickly blazed through the likes of Van Halen, Guns & Roses, and Lynrd Skynrd. Then my girlfriend (who lives in another city) came to visit and noticed my GH 2 guitar controller sitting my television. The exchange went something like this:
My girlfriend: “What is THAT? Please tell me that’s a present for your nephew.” Note – my nephew is five years old.
“No, that’s mine,” I replied.
“What’s it for?” my girlfriend asked suspiciously.
“It’s for a video game. It’s called Guitar Hero. It’s a lot of fun”
My girlfriend responded, incredulous, “Oh my God, are you kidding me?”
“No, here.” I say as I show her the game case. “Do you want to try it?” I asked, with a hopeful note in my voice.
“NO! Ugh, you’re such a nerd.”
Fortunately for me, my girlfriend loves me even though I’m a huge geek. But the lesson here, and I’m mainly talking to the guys reading this, is that Guitar Hero can be a lot of fun, but you might want to restrain yourself from totally geeking out over this game. Why? Well, if that anecdote didn't convince you, take a look at this:
Now, this guy is really good at Guitar Hero, there’s no denying that. And he might have a lot of great qualities that single women might find really attractive, but this isn’t one of them. It’s pretty much guaranteed that this guy is not getting laid by any woman that lays eyes on this video. So fellas, if you’re reading this, and you own Guitar Hero, by all means enjoy it, but play responsibly. And if there are any ladies reading this that actually are fans of Guitar Hero perhaps you can talk some sense into my girlfriend.
I cede the floor.