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Sports Goats: A Proposal For A New Reality Show

Written by: Russell Davidson, CC2K Sports Editor

In this extended pitch, CC2K Sports Editor Russell Davidson outlines his plan for a new reality show about real-life losers.

ImageSo here’s my pitch for a new reality show, “Sports Goats.” We get a group of people who are famous for screwing up a big moment in sports, who blew it, completely. Haunted by these mistakes, our subjects attempt to rectify, redeem, rehabilitate, remake themselves, to become more than SPORTS GOATS.

Here’s the cast:

Scott Norwood (aka “Wide Right”) — missed the field goal at the end of Super Bowl XXV. His error doomed the Buffalo Bills to hold sports most unbreakable record, four straight Super Bowl losses. Also known as Scott Nor-Wouldn’t, Scott Nor-Couldn’t, and Scott Nor-Didn’t.

Fred Brown (aka “Shirt Foul”) — down by a point, with the ball, the Hoyas look to win the NCAA national championship game against Michael Jordan and his North Carolina Tar Heels in 1992. Problem is, Georgetown’s Fred Brown dribbles down the court and passes the ball to James Worthy, who is on the other team. Game over.

Bill Buckner (aka “Holland Tunnel”) — his error on a routine ground ball opened the floodgates for a miracle Mets comeback and Red Sox collapse. Perhaps the biggest blunder in sports history. Jump to timestamp 1:57:

Robert Green (aka “Slippery Eel-Fingers”) — in the 2010 World Cup English goalie Robert Green lets American Clint Dempsey’s marshmallow shot bounce off his hands and go into the goal. This allows the USA to tie England and sets the table for England’s ouster from the tournament.

Steve Bartman (aka “Headphones”) – a fan in the stands, Bartman made the mistake of reaching for a ball when his team’s outfielder had a chance of catching it for the out. The Cubs went on to collapse and lose their chance at a National League pennant, making Bartman a pariah in Chicago.

So we put these guys in a house together, and have them go out and retry, relive, recreate their ultimate shame, in a therapeutic kinda way. There’ll be an in-house shrink.

All will try to kick a field goal. All will try to pass the basketball to the right team. All will try to stop a soccer ball. All will try to handle a grounder. And all will try to get out off the way of a baseball. Hopefully, they will come out the other end stronger, more in touch with their inner-failure, more at peace with the turmoil they’ve caused. They will cheer, they will cry, it’ll be heart-warming, it’ll be heart-wrenching. No one will be able to look away from the SPORTS GOATS.