The Seedy Underbelly of Talk Show Fame: The Ellen Degeneres Story

Written by: Rob Van Winkle, CC2K Staff Writer

We have all long suspected that the lives of the rich and famous are rife with deviant sex, drugs and scandal. And yet, we are freshly horrified when celebrities are revealed to be doing just that, perhaps due to the great pains these people go to to make us think we're just like them.

Take the case of Ellen Degeneres. A popular sitcom and movie star (if Mr. Wrong counts as a popular movie, I guess…), Degeneres earned the respect of the world for admitting her sexuality publicly, even though such a revelation might well have ruined her career. A scant few years later, Ellen has found herself the host of a wildly successful eponymous talk show, where she charms guests and audiences with her quirky humor and unconventional dance moves. See? She's just like us!

And then … the scandal broke. Ellen Degeneres … gave a dog to a friend.

Apparently, this disgusting story goes something like this:

Degeneres, with what can only be described as a hedonist's lust for scandal, adopted a Brussels Griffon mix terrier named Iggy from a place called Mutts and Moms. AS IF THIS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH, Degeneres some time later made the scandalous and (at the risk of losing my journalistic impartiality) Hitler-worthy decision to give Iggy to the family of her hair stylist.

When Mutts and Moms heard of this arrangement, they quickly stepped in to see that justice was done. Giving Iggy away to another family without informing the adoption agency was in DIRECT VIOLATION of the agreement that Degeneres signed, and so they swooped in like the arch-angel Gabriel, and took Iggy back. To the adoption agency. Where it is surely happier.

After Degeneres made a tearful plea on her show for Mutts and Moms to reconsider this action, M&M owner Marina Batkis struck back through her authorized spokesman, explaining why she did what she did, and why she will not recant:

"She doesn't think this is the type of family that should have the dog. She is adamant that she is not going to be bullied around by the Ellen DeGenereses of the world … They are using their power, position and wealth to try to get what it is they want."

Amen, Marina. Amen.