The Nexus of Pop-Culture Fandom

Time Warner Profits Plummet: Execs Blame Waning Popularity of the Internet

Written by: Rob Van Winkle, CC2K Staff Writer

Source: Variety


When People hate the Internet, it makes the yellow guy cry.

Despite worldwide box office dominance for such third quarter films as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Rush Hour 3, Ocean's 13 and Hairspray 3 (I am forced to conclude that they just left off the sequel number), AS WELL AS high syndication income for such television fare as Two-and-a-Half Men and The George Lopez Show, Time Warner announced that their profits for the quarter had been halved to 1.1 billion dollars. The main reason for the downturn, say executives, is that Time Warner property America OnLine (AOL) is losing subscribers at an alarming rate. The question that plagues all of Time Warner is clear: why are people suddenly anti-internet?


No other logical explanation can be found for AOL's surprising downturn, especially in light of the fact that the internet provider lost 56% of its subscription revenue DESPITE a 13% increase in advertising sales. 

As executives scratch their heads and (no doubt) plan on new and ever-more-innovative ways to get those free startup CD-ROMs into our hands and trash bins, an underground belief has begun to surface that maybe…MAYBE…this downturn has something to do with the fact that AOL is an outmoded and outclassed dinosaur of a system that could only possibly make sense for old people who are still "afraid" of the internet, or small business people who can't afford to lose their "" email tag.

Somewhere, Steve Case is riding his Segway down the street, laughing.