The Nexus of Pop-Culture Fandom

Will Your Vote (for Obama) Even Count?

Written by: Jimmy Hitt, CC2K Staff Writer

ImageWe all know who's getting your vote in November. Barack Obama is like Bruce Wayne — he's a genius, he looks great in a suit and he can disarm a hostile in seven different ways.  Well, that last one isn't true — Obama only knows four disarms — but he still has something on Bruce Wayne: The Gotham City billionaire was merely the star of the main event of the summer. Obama is the star of the main event for the next four to eight years.

And he's worth every bit of the hype.

So you’ve decided to take that extra step and vote this November, despite the pains of getting out of bed, getting dressed, finding your keys, and waiting in line at your local polling station. You’ll tell yourself that millions of Americans gave their lives and continue giving their lives for the ideal that is freedom, and the least you can do is exercise that freedom by the most obvious means necessary—other than watching online pornography—VOTING! Finally, it’s time to get your vote on.

It’s a satisfying feeling, voting. You stand in line and make small talk with the rest of the citizenry, all the while wondering why everyone is taking so long, as if there’s even any deliberation required to choose between Obama and McSame. Then, the time comes and it’s your turn. You don’t want to mess this up by depressing the wrong chad or pulling the wrong lever (hint: there’s only one). You remember the 2000 “election” and you saw Fahrenheit 9/11. And you definitely don’t want to become a Kevin Costner vehicle.

You’ll go through all this effort on November 4, 2008 with the intention of putting the coolest man on the planet in office, but as it turns out, your driver’s license doesn’t match your records at the state social security administration, because one has a “T.” and the other fully spells out your middle name. But hey, that’s what happened in ancient Greece, right? One man, one vote, unless a clerk misspells Theopolis. It’s all in the history books.

All kidding aside, the little known fact is that the ironically named Help America Vote Act, much like No Child Left Behind and the Patriot Act, actually makes it extremely difficult to have a vote counted for virtually everyone, but especially for people with non-Anglican names or those who recently moved out of a foreclosed home or were laid off from the last remaining American manufacturing job. So, you know, about 100 million people.

As Robert Kennedy, Jr. recently explained on a radio program:

“There are about 30 scams the Republicans are deliberately using, particularly in the swing states to get Democratic voters off the rolls…One of these requirements under HAVA [Help America Vote Act, passed by Republicans] is called ‘the perfect match’ and what that does is little known but it is devastating…a computer system [compares] your registration application to all other government records of you in the state. So they'll look at your social security records, your motor vehicle records and any time you've had any interaction with the government and if there is any information on your voter registration that is different than the information on another government record that they find they remove you from the voting rolls.”

Kennedy went on to say:

“If you're a newly registered voter…you MUST include your license or some other state I.D. when you come to vote…if [you] send in [an] absentee ballot and…don't include a color copy of [your] license, [your] vote is going to be thrown into a trash can.”

So, in essence, there are several pitfalls awaiting most voters in November. The smart thing to do, if you want your vote for Obama to count—or if, God forbid, you want to vote for the lipstick lady—is to contact your state’s election bureaucracy (I know it’s painful, but you can do it) and make sure you know exactly what it takes to get your vote to count. If you really wanna get serious, then look at a copy of HAVA and read the damn thing for yourself. Stay informed. If that means updating your registration to reflect a new address, or bringing ten pieces of ID, then so be it.


The second thing you can do after you figure out your own situation is tell everyone else you know to do the same thing. Copy this article and email it around. Digg it. Don’t let the party of George W. Bush once again steal an election that shouldn’t even be close. I mean, Alaska? Shooting moose from helicopters? That’s not even hunting. That’s Grand Theft Auto 5: Wasilla.

For more information on voter fraud, check out some of the stories concerning the 2004 election, available below, or go online to And remember, October 14 is the deadline to update your voter registration (at least in Maryland…check your own state info out). Make it happen people. Get your vote on., Democracy & Voting Rights – Ohio 2004 Election as Lesson in What Can Go Wrong

Analysis of misleading advertising from both Bush and Kerry

"Was the 2004 Election Stolen?" Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Rolling Stone.

VIDEO presentation: Professor Steve Freeman on stolen 2004 election October 5, 2007

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. transcript from “Ring of Fire” on Air America Radio